Postcard from Bishkek

There is something funny about humour, (pun intended).

As we sit and smirk, smile, or roar with laughter at a joke or a situation that has “tickled our funny bone”, we forget that virtually all humour is “at somebody’s expense”; we laugh at their misfortune – possible with the thought “there, but for the grace of God … “.

Some professional comedians, (especially those belonging to a specific minority) make use of this by directing attention to themselves and the stereotypes of the groups to which they belong … inviting us to laugh “with them” rather than “at them”. 

A classic example of this is the TV programme Candid Camera – which aired for the first time on ABC Television in the US, on 10th August, 1948.  It was based on a Radio programme, (Candid Microphone”), that only had a two year run … television being in the ascendancy.  The idea was simple: cameras were concealed and used to film ordinary people, (although sometimes celebrities were sometimes deliberately targetted), facing unusual situations, such as a desk with drawers that pop open when another is closed. At the end of the clip, when the joke was revealed, as the perpetrators of the foke pointed to the concealed camera … the “victims” would be told the show’s catchphrase, “Smile, you’re on Candid Camera.”

It proved to be a popular format – running on different stations until 1967, and was resurrected several time and spawning similar programmes in various countries – there are several programmes on local TV here in Kyrgyzstan.   In the UK, it was part of my youth – running for seven years from, 1960 until 1967, (and since then it has also seen several resurrections).

To be honest, I never felt easy watching the programme; I couldn’t laugh without cringing and feeling a little uneasy … asking myself how I would react in that situation and  thinking “There, but for the grace of God …”.  Having said that, even if the programme is off the air – it has passed into popular culture with the the famous catchphrase being instantly recognized … and I have seen several comedies where the chief character is faced with some surreal situation and then pauses as, apparently, “the penny drops” and they turn to the people standing around and ask, “where’s the camera?.

 

Sometimes it feels like that here …

Visitors to the website of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs may have been confused and wondering “where’s the camera?“.  Apparently the site was hacked by a group of Turkish group, “ynR”.  I have no idea who they are but it seems they left “contact details” – just in case anyone wants to hire their services?

 

When I read the headline that said there weren’t enough Lawyers and Economists – I felt like asking “Where’s the camera? – am I on Candid Camera?“.  If there really is a deficit of lawyers it’s not exactly obvious by the number of Law offices I see around the city … and remember that not all those with law degrees actually practice law in a law firm but many are employed as lawyers in large companies.  I know this is just a personal impression and I don’t have statistics to back this up but, sometimes it seems as if every other person is a Lawyer, or Notary – which is a special sort of lawyer.  What’s more, although this could be a reflection of the vacancies on offer, whenever I have to go through a pile of CV’s for people applying for jobs, I am often surprised by the number who have Law degrees, Economics degrees, or Accountancy qualifications … and these days there seem to be quite a few who have studied Business Management, Marketing, Journalism or similar “trendy” subjects.

 

I wouldn’t blame the politicians who were acquitted of trying to seize power by climbing over the fence outside the White House, (currently the home of the Jogorku Kenesh – the country’s Parliament), a short while ago – if they had been present in court, that is – for asking “where’s the camera? … am I on Candid Camera?“, as their case proceeded to the Supreme Court … and they lost.

In what one commentator called a “Judgment of Solomon”, the judges decided to overturn the acquittal but reduced the sentences – which some people have argued were incredibly lenient anyway, by a month so that they were equal to time “time served”.

The oddest comment, however, came in the headline that announced that now the three deputies “may” loose their seats in the parliament.  It should be automatic … under the law, convicted persons cannot be Deputies in the parliament – so once the procedures have been gone through, now that they have been convicted, they must loose their mandate.  Indeed, many commentators seem to take the view that this was the whole point of the exercise … although that seems to me to be a little disingenuous … after all, didn’t they scale the fence around the White House and thus bring the charges down upon themselves.

Whilst one article says that the court’s decision is final and needs to be accepted and respected – and in a way that’s true, there is no appeal from a Supreme Court decision – the lawyer for defendants said that when they see a copy of the final judgement they would decide what to do next – maybe an appeal to the Constitutional Council … or whatever.

One of the regular analysts seems to think that they may well gather their supporters, (who are mainly, but not exclusively, concentrated in the South), and agitate so that in the autumn we may see some further developments.  If we remember that the protest where the fence climbing took place was all about Kumtor – which is in North and remains a controversial issue … it is easy to see why he thinks we could see some “interesting times” ahead.

Another Western commentator seemed to support this overall opinion that the move may be counterproductive, linking it with possible fallout among certain sectors of the population over another key point in the current policy – the removal of the Manas Transit Base.

 

Talking of the Manas Transit Base … it looks as if America has accepted that it will indeed close.  With the news that President Obama has decided not meet for face to face talks with Vladimir Putin at the G8 Summit in St Petersberg, it seems that this is not the only snub Washington has delivered this week.  The news broke that the newly appointed head of the US Central Command has been on visit to Central Asia, pointedly travelling to, and holding talks in Tashkent and Dushanbe … but not in Bishkek.   According to one journalist, he “was originally scheduled to visit Manas to meet with U.S. troops,” but “not to go to Bishkek to meet government officials. In the end, it looks like he didn’t even make it to Manas. ”

Well, here in Bishkek we are about to see another summit in September when the leaders of the SCO countries, (Shanghai Cooperation Organization), gather for their annual deliberations.  Almost all the hotel accommodation in the city has already been pre-booked – so I hope there aren’t too many last minute tourists trying to get a place at that time – but apparently all the main building in the city center are to floodlit.

I hope the electricity system can cope.  It seems that every day there are more and more power cuts as repairs and renovations take place.  At the hotel, we had a few anxious moments when the power went off … the backup generator kicked in as it is supposed to … but then cut out after 10 minutes.  It seems that it too is having trouble coping with the heat that we have been experiencing.  I am pleased to say that we managed to sort everything out in time and didn’t have to move on Emergency Plan C.

 

Talking of Energy – according to former President Roza Otunbaev, one of the two wings of the Kyrgyz Economy – it seems that Kyrgyzstan has exported some 166 million Kilowatt hours of electricity in just two months, (July and August – Hey, August isn’t over yet???), raising some USD6.7 million which is being used to buy coal and diesel fuel – presumably in preparation for the winter season and partly to clear a loan used to purchase fuel last year.

Hmmmm … I wonder if that has anything to do with the power cuts that we’ve been experiencing?

Another interesting story this week – especially in the light of the controversy in Britain about the effectiveness of alternative energy such as Wind Farms … it seems that the experts here are convinced that these options will not be viable here.  The weather patterns in the mountains are such that although we get lots of sunshine, the number of solar panels that would be required would be inordinate.  What’s more Kyrgyzstan doesn’t have the steady winds necessary for wind turbines.  Despite these technical problems … they also pointed out that considerable finance would be required – which Kyrgyzstan doesn’t have … at the moment.

 

Other fences – not just the one around the White House –  were also in the news during the week:  some of the locals up at Issyk Kul are upset about fences that have been erected around some of the beaches by resorts built on the shoreline – so that locals can’t access the lake – effectively privatizing the beach.  One day about a hundred protesters decided to show their unhappiness over these fences and took over a couple of resorts.  According to reports – it turned out to be a “small” protest and quickly defused.  Some of the affected resorts have decided to dismantle part of the offending fences and others are installing special gates to allow the local access.

Fortunately, in all the protests over Kumtor, the prosecution of parliamentarians and access rights for locals to Issyk Kul’s beaches,  visitors do not seem to have been seriously affected.  At least we haven’t seen anything like the “acid attack” in Zanzibar …  It was interesting to see the response of the authorities in that case … not only was a manhunt organized with an appeal for witnesses and anyone with information to come forward; a reward was offered; the President visited the victims in hospitals and called the act “shameful” and the Minister for Tourism added:

I beg our nationals, this is not something they should be doing. Tourism is the strongest pillar of our economy, so if we do such acts we are killing our economy and our livelihoods in general. So it is not an honourable thing to do, it’s a bad thing and it should be condemned by all citizens of Zanzibar.

I wonder what would have been the response if something like that happened here.

Incidentally, I note that the travel advice from the British Foreign and Commonwealth Office for both Kyrgyzstan and Zanzibar is very similar, most visits are “trouble free” but “violent and armed crime is increasing” and “there is an underlying threat from terrorism” … but, then again, that description could most destinations in the world – even London and New York.

 

Soon, up at Issyk Kul, there could be new facilities to welcome tourists … campsites.  I have met some businessmen who have proposed these in the past and now it seems to be part of government policy – included in the Country Development Plan promulgated last year.   Personally, I am not sure that follow the logic.  I appreciate that it may offer a low cost option although I am sure that there may be some takers, I am not sure where the customers are going to come from.  Apart from the existing options of hotels, resorts and Bed and Breakfast accommodation, there are also a number of yurt camps around the lake.  I am not sure how many tourists will have tents, etc. and I am not convinced that there is an interest in “touring” rather than spending a few days .

I was tempted to ask myself “where’s the camera?, am I on Candid Camera?” when I saw a report about the cost of living here in Kyrgyzstan.  Basically, the Statistical Office reported that the basic cost of living per capita is about 4698.09 som a month, (for children up to 18 it is 3983.79 and for for children … for pensioners 4194.39 som and for “able bodied” citizens as much as 5257.46).  Last year, one of the country’s prominent bloggers tried to live on this “subsistence level” and if I remember correctly – unfortunately I can’t find the references to it – failed.

Apparently the best salaries are currently paid in financial services sector where the average salary, (note the “average” salary, which means that although some people get less, some get more), is over 24,000 som and has grown something over 7000 som a month since 2009.

The “Minimum wage”, ( which doesn’t actually mean what it says – and, in fact, it has been renamed in the Tax Code for income tax calculations), is just 840 som a month.

The best part of the report however, was the sentence that, the “subsistence level is determined by a special method of national statistical committee” … Hmmmm … “where’s the camera?“.

 

Perhaps the strangest story of all this week – barring the last one below – concerned the Miss Kyrgyzstan contestant in the Miss World competition … and on her page on the official website – where they give a short character sketch, we were told that she “comes from Bishek,” (sic – that’s a quote – it’s not my poor typing), “where she lives with her sister and parents.”  As well as telling us that “she describes herself as “kind, honest, and always trying to be in a good mood””, and that “her hobbies include dancing, reading, and listening to RnB music”, (at first I thought that was another mistake – but, apparently, it is a form of R&B – well, as my father sometimes used to say, “you live and learn” ), we were also told that “currently a student,” ans “hopes to gain employment as a French translator or as an economist – as long as it is in France.”

Now, that’s an ambassador for your country!

 

On a different note … something very interesting happened on the ianbek website this week …  and I am not sure what to make of it.  I normally get somewhere around 50 new new visitors a day … most of them seem to come from search engines and a fair number decide that it’s not what they were looking for and move on.  Some, however, stay and have a look around,  and on average there are about a hundred page views a day.  That’s a total of about 40000 visitors and 80000 page views since I started keeping track back in September 2010.

You may remember that one day back in February I told you that one post about the new marketing strategy for Kyrgyzstan had been referred to on Twitter and attracted a huge amount of interest – with over a thousand new visitors and more than 1700 page views.  At least I could understand the sudden spike in the figures.

On Sunday, however, I got the usual 52 “new visitors”,  but there were an incredible 1650 odd page views … I couldn’t believe it and if I had been in some public space and not esconsed in my office I might well have been tempted to look about me and ask, “Where’s the camera?, am I on Candid Camera?”

It was so startling that I decided to investigate further.  Interestingly, there are about 1500 posts on the site and it looks as if one person visited every single page … in the space of a couple of hours.  It happened so fast that it must have been an automatic bot downloading everything I have ever written … and, given the furore over Edward Snowden and the shenanigans over at the NSA and GCHQ … I can’t help wondering who? … and why?

 

Although I appreciate that I have gone on … and on … and on, I didn’t think I should let this pass by.  The BBC in Kyrgyzstan have put together a “multimedia package” looking at the city of Osh – particularly following the events of 2010 … it’s well worth a look and I recommend it.

And, no … no-one jumps out and says “Smile, your on Candid Camera!”

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Postcard from Bishkek: the weekly postcard that I send out as an email also gets posted on the website ianbek.kg each week – and there are other postcards which don’t get sent out.  This week, for example, there has been the following postcards:

It is possible to follow me on Facebook, (where I have specific pages for Celestial Mountains and ianbek … and also links.kg, Kyrgyz Diary and Kyrgyzstan Visitki), and also on twitter, (@Bishkekpostcard and @celestialMTC ).

Tags: Expat, In_the_News, Life_in_Kyrgyzstan, Weekly_Postcards