Postcard from Bishkek

Last year I made one New Year’s Resolution: to write a postcard every day.  I am pleased to say that, quite uncharacteristically, I kept it.

I was wondering what to choose for my New Year’s resolutions for 2012 and hadn’t yet made up my mind from half a dozen potential options, when I got this in one of the first emails I received in 2012:

“Dear Friends,

Our dream of finding time to make this year the one we return to writing Christmas cards to you all remained just that. You know, the one where we sit peacefully in front of a roaring fire, sipping gluwein, signing tasteful and carefully selected cards in our best italic hand-writing, smug in the knowledge that all necessary preparations for the festive season are under control, while the children sit quietly in a corner reading or playing Scrabble, and the dogs lie decorously on the hearthrug. Regardless of the fact that we don’t possess Scrabble, the chimney is blocked and our dogs would be more likely to play tug of war with the carpet, our sights are of course now pinned on next year, but in the meantime we send no less heartfelt wishes for a peaceful, happy and healthy 2012.

…”

It came as a salutary reminder that despite all our best intentions as the old year disappears into the mists of history to be replaced as the new one enters our lives, and that things rarely go according to plan.

The commitments that we make, either publicly acknowledged or simply to ourselves, are often quickly forgotten or put aside because circumstances don’t permit us to hold on resolutely or, maybe, we are simply too weak to do so, or else we were simply, ritually, going through the motions of holding onto a tradition and the resolutions that we adopt are simply examples of wishful thinking.

There are plenty of examples:

Popular goals :

• Improve health by losing weight; to exercise more; to eat better, (Alistair Cooke told in one of his “Letters from America”, during a time when “slim was trim” and dieting was all the fashion, that one of the most common resolutions in America at the beginning of the Twentieth Century was “to gain weight”.  Fat was not seen, as it is today, as bad.); or to drink less alcohol, and quit smoking; to get enough sleep;
• Improve finances: to get out of debt and/or save money, perhaps by improving career prospects by getting a better job or a promotion; perhaps by improve education: work harder to improve grades, to study often, to go on training courses; to learn something new such as a foreign language, (I have often promised myself that I will learn Kyrgyz), or music, for example to learn to play an instrument.
• Improve oneself: to become more organized, (how I long to clear the paper off my desk that seems to pile up); to reduce stress and be less grumpy, or, on the other hand to become more assertive; to manage time better; to be more independent;
• • to eliminate bad habits like biting nails or, perhaps, watching less television, playing less computer games, (I don’t – I play very few games – apart from the fact that I don’t find them very interesting, I tend not to be very good at them); or
  • to develop and strengthen positive ones, such as to read at least one book per month – just one?
• To undertake a particular project: for example to keep a diary or at least a “journal” of awesome moments and thoughts; to take a trip or to help others, by volunteering, taking part in civic activities or giving to charity;
• To be more responsible, for example to be more environmentally aware;

 

A New Year’s resolution should, however, represent a commitment.  When we decide to pursue a personal goal such as reforming ourselves from a bad habit or adopting a change of lifestyle, we should remember that goals need to be:

• Definite – there has to be a specific target or goal;
• Achievable – in that we have a chance of fulfilling our good intentions, (it is no good “wishing for the moon”), and
• Measurable – you have to be able to measure your rate of success by setting intermediate “milestones” and tracking progress towards the ultimate goal; this can provide an incentive to continue;

Apparently most people fail to keep their New Year’s Resolutions.  That doesn’t surprise me.

New Year is a good time for reflecting on past actions and setting goals for the year ahead.  It brings with it a note of anticipation and new beginnings, a chance to draw a line under past experience and old habits with the chance to start afresh with a “clean sheet”

Some people suggest that it helps to make your resolutions public and receive help from family and friends in maintaining steadfast especially where the targets are difficult to achieve and there is considerable pressure to “backslide”.

To me, however, the most important thing is that the person making the resolution has to be committed and really want to achieve their goal and have the “right mindset”.

 

So what about 2012? … a good question …Perhaps I should resolve to be more decisive, but when I have finally decided then, maybe, I will write a postcard about it but, at the moment, life has a habit of interfering too much and I will probably just carry on muddling along as usual … just the same as, nearly, everyone else.

 

 

Tags: Expat