Postcard from Bishkek

Some time ago I gave an interview to the local press and the journalist began, as always – so it seems, with questions about my background and how I ended up here in Kyrgyzstan.  After I had I given her the usual answers she then started to ask me about whether I ever felt homesick, and what I missed about home.  I sat and thought and surprised her with my answer: “Well, there’s some things of course … but it’s all a question of pluses and minuses … one thing I can’t get here, for example, is Marmite … but then, when I go back to London I can’t find Maksim Shoro.”

That raised an appreciative smile … from the journalist, but it was clear that she didn’t understand … just as many of you who haven’t been to Kyrgyzstan may be wondering what on earth Maksim Shoro is, she was obviously wondering what on earth was this Marmite?  Fortunately, my interpreter was well aware, (having already tried it), and was able to explain the reference to her: “It’s a form of English pre-prava, (condiment), that you either love or hate … “.  He hated it … it was far too salty for his taste.

Apparently, the lack of availability of Marmite in various places around the world is quite a talking point when expats get together.  I understand that it is one of the FAQs, (Frequently Asked Questions), that diplomats put to the Foreign and Commonwealth Office when they are posted abroad.

Fortunately, I have a reasonable stock of Marmite these days.  Friends who are coming out to Kyrgyzstan often ask me if I would like them to bring me something from home when they come, and quite a few of them pack a jar in their luggage for me.  I do have a problem holding onto it, however, because despite the fact that most people here turn up their noses at it after trying an initial taste, there are a few who have developed a distinct liking for it.

One of them had a jar sitting on the table in their kitchen, when another Kyrgyz friend who was visiting saw it, picked it up and asked, “what’s this?”  My friend was feeling mischievous and replied, “English jam”.  ”Oh, interesting.  Can I try it?” the visitor asked.  ”Of course,” came the reply.  So the visitor took up a teaspoon and, dipping it into the dark black morass he took a full teaspoon into his mouth … before collapsing in convulsions.  ”How on earth can they eat this stuff …?” he enquired when he got his breath back.  I wasn’t there at the time, but when I heard about it, I tried to  explain to him that it should be spread thinly on toast, or a spoonful dissolved into a stew, (goulash), for seasoning … but, no matter how hard I tried, he still remains convinced that our mutual friend was trying to poison him.

Mind you, he now holds me in a much higher regard: “You must be something pretty special if you can eat that stuff – yet alone like it!”

 

To be honest, there isn’t that much that I do miss … in the sense that I hanker for them.  This is already “home” and I am more than happy with Samsa and Pilmeni, Lachman and Manti, Borsh and Beshmarmak, Laza, (a spicy condiment added to soups and the like), and Khren, (horseradish sauce).

There are, however, lots of things that I do miss … in the sense that, when I do have the chance to savour them, I am reminded of home … and my youth.

It normally comes home to me when I am preparing a meal for friends and want to create some “traditional English cuisine” to tempt their taste buds.  Yes, I know that English cuisine can be a little bland – pies and roast, boiled vegetables and stews.  On the other hand there are plenty of interesting dishes, snacks and delicacies that are worth trying, and often prove popular, if only I can find the right ingredients.

You can’t find, for example, root vegetables like turnips, swedes and parsnips, (although, personally, I don’t think that is much of a loss, but the paucity of fresh green peas and beans in the pod is).  The onions, also tend to be a little sweet so simple things like Cheese and Onion sandwiches lack the bite that I am used to.  I once pickled some jars of onions and, (to everyone’s sheer amazement), four jars of pickled eggs.  It was difficult, because I couldn’t find the right sort of vinegar, yet alone pickling spices … but they proved popular, if only as an intriguing exotic treat, and they were soon scoffed.

Sometimes I’d like to make a trifle, especially when I am entertaining friends … but you can’t make the custard, (no custard powder and no cornflour), and Sherry is only occasionally stocked on the shelves that bow under the weight of 20 or 30, (or 50 or 60), different types of vodka.

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As it happens, the other day I received another email from a friend in the UK, asking me if he could bring me something on his next visit.  Now, I had just seen an article in the Daily Telegraph about Great British condiments … so, in an attempt to be a bit more imaginative, I sent him the link and said “anything on that list”.  He turned up with a couple of bottles of HP Sauce – No.1 on the list.  Great!  Thanks, Marat!

When we were talking, the conversation turned to that list of things that we can’t get here.

In the old days, shortly after I came here, I would have had no doubt and said English language books and films.  On my six monthly visits back home I would always stock up and bring 20 or so books and a similar number of video cassettes, (yes, it was that long ago), back with me.  These days, however, it is possible to find these here, although they are still in short supply and the choice is somewhat limited.

On the other hand, maybe it is just a reflection of the fact that I don’t have as much free time to indulge in reading and watching films as I used to.

These days, maybe it’s a sign my advancing age, but I think I would concentrate on food.  Everyone has to eat and although there is a huge choice of different types of restaurant here in Bishkek, when it comes to preparing something to eat at home, then there are tastes that are reminiscent of our past that it is difficult to recreate given the ingredients that are available here.

Sometimes we get asked by tourists coming here if this or that is available here … and it’s usually some sort of food.

Some things are not practical - Guinness, for example, Melton Mowbray Pork Pies or  Roquefort Cheese.

“There must be lots of things from home that expats like you must miss,” he said, “after all, the Americans at the Manas air base will probably have their NAAFI stores piled high with things so that the troops don’t get homesick … if you had such a store, what would you stock?”

That got me thinking … and so I came up with this list:

High Priority – you can’t get them here – or anything close:

• Marmite
• Branston Pickle
• Malt Vinegar
• Custard Powder … or fasiling that instant custard
• Bisto Gravy powder
• Twiglets – OK, I know, that’s more Marmite

Medium Priority – you can’t get them here – but  there are some alternatives:

• HP Sauce – Tomato ketchup mixed with Worcestershire Sauce, (if you can get it), gives a passable tangy taste
• Heinz Salad Cream – there’s plenty of Mayonnaise available here, but lacking this particular tangy taste … oddly, I used to hate this when I was kid, but now I would relish every dollop
• Creamed Horseradich Sauce – they make their own type here but, although it’s good, it’s not the same … they mix tomatoes with it and it is much more liquid and less creamy
• Mint Sauce – or possible dried mint which, sometimes – but not often, you can find it here
• Oxo stock cubes
• Worcestershire Sauce – as I said, sometimes, but not often, you can find it here
• Marmalade - both Orange and Lime … there’s plenty of jam here, but real tangy marmalade doesn’t exist.
• Breakfast cereals – although there is a range available here in Bishkek, some specific brands such as Weetabix and Shredded Wheat aren’t,  unfortunately, amongst them.
• Confectionery:
• • ….. Cadbury’s Cream Eggs … you used to be able to get them here, but I have’t seen them for years
  • ….. Polo Mints (or Trebor’s Extra Strong)  … you used to be able to get them here, but I have’t seen them for years
  • ….. After 8 Mints – always good for a present as well as a “bite sized sweetie” … although there are plenty of confectionery here

Low Priority – at least as far as I am concerned …  although they are not available here, they are a little more specialized, and not to my particular taste:

• Piccalilli
• Gentlemen’s Relish
• Peanut Butter
• Liqourice Allsorts … OK, maybe, although I’m not that fond of them, personally, but they would make good presents.

It’s obviously a personal list …and very orientated towards England and English condiments, after all, I am English!  I wonder, What would be on your list?

To be honest, I was actually quite surprised at how long the list was … and, also, how quickly it seemed to be growing.

As I said, “this is now my home” and I am happy with the fare that is on offer … but, then again, …  well … sometimes … hmmmm … yes, it would be nice… and Marat is a businessman … with an eye ever open for potential business openings  … hmmmm.

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Tags: Expat, Food and Drink