A word of advice
The other day, a friend asked me for some advice. Isn’t it nice to be asked for advice?
In my opinion it is a good idea to ask for advice. When you do so … usually there isn’t a great cost or effort involved but it suggests that their opinion, their experience and judgment matters and is valued. If you like the advice you get, if it confirms what you were already thinking, then it offers moral support and helps you to feel better about yourself and your decision – especially if the issue is going to be controversial in some quarters. If, on the other hand, you don’t like it, then you don’t have to follow it – it was only advice, after all – and you never know, they might know something you don’t or the advice raise an issue that you haven’t thought of … that you really ought to consider. Of course, you always have to take into account the motivation of the person giving the advice … but in my experience, advice is a valuable commodity.
Of course there are ”drawbacks” – first of all you may not like the advice you get; it can make you look weak and indecisive; it gives the person whose advice was not followed to “crow” about it later (the “I told you so …” syndrome) and someone whose advice is requested – and apparently ignored – may be more reluctant to offer next time.
Personally, the first few don’t worry me too much. You have to learn to handle situations that you don’t like or make you feel uncomfortable. I can be decisive if and when I need to be, but I would prefer to make the right decision for the right reasons, and if I make it clear that I am prepared to accept the responsibility for the decision, based on the best advice available to me at the time then I think that should solve those two. The final drawback is more fundamental and requires the right approach in the first place.
Anyway, back to my friend. He had recently been mugged – it happens in most big cities – even in Bishkek, unfortunately. He was returning home late one night and was approached by a pair of youths who asked him for the time. He stopped to tell them and a third approached from a different direction, grabbed him and the first two then rifled through his pockets. They took what little money he had on him – and his mobile phone. He was now asking me about what sort of phone he should buy as a replacement.
Now, perhaps I was the wrong person to ask. I have a strong dislike for mobile phones.
I don’t like sitting in meetings, in restaurants, in theatres and hearing a ringing tone, or a melody, followed by a grab into some pocket or bag as the person searches for the phone – followed by either something like “I can’t speak now, I call you back” – or a long (usually loud) conversation which doesn’t interest the surrounding people. In some cases it is just ignored. My attitude is that: if you’re in a meeting – or somewhere like the theatre, or at a concert – then it’s an insult to everyone else, the participants in the meeting, the performers and audience, to interrupt your attention and theirs by answering the call. Do everyone a favour, including yourself, and turn the phone off – or at least into silent mode – which can alert you without disturbing the rest around you.
(I was once in a meeting with several government Ministers and officials, along with about 40 others involved in tourism when one mobile phone went off not once, not twice but three times – and was ignored by the owner on each occasion. Ok, maybe she forgot to turn the phone off when she arrived at the meeting – but why didn’t she turn it off after the first call – or even the second?)
Don’t get me wrong – I appreciate the call may be “urgent” – and needs to be answered. If so, make your apologies, get up and go outside to hold your conversation.
I do have a mobile phone myself … but I don’t give out the number to just anyone – not even all of my friends know the number. I even refused to give it to the local police and the Bureau for State Security (If they really need it – they know how to get the number) – and the officers concerned were so surprised. Maybe I was the first person to refuse – but I simply said – my ordinary phone number is available through the directory services – but the mobile number is private. I get calls on the ordinary phone at all times of the day and night – some of them are from family and friends, some are work related – some are wrong numbers (there’s an awful lot of them) and some are just nuisance calls. I am sorry, but if I am not home and nobody answers – then try again later. My mobile number is given to people who NEED to contact me in emergency – such as the hotels, the guides on tours and so on. If my mobile rings – then I know it is urgent. If the phone is off, or in silent mode, because I am in a meeting – I can check to see who called and, if necessary, call back. (Incidentally – I still get a lot of wrong numbers on the mobile).
Please note that I haven’t gone into the controversy about “health” issues, radiation, and so on.
Anyway, back to my friend and his dilemma.
He took me to a department store where there hundreds upon hundreds of mobile phones and wanted to know which I thought he should buy.
I was amazed at the number and the range available … where is the money coming from for people to buy them – and use them – they are not cheap, and Kyrgyzstan is not a rich country. Officially the average salary is only about 2000 soms a month – about USD50.
But, that’s yet another digression – back to my friend and his question.
He was torn between a model which small, looked good, had all sorts of functions including call redirection and a camera and 4 minutes of video (at USD300) and another (not the top of the range) with the capability of recording an hour’s video (at USD700).
When considering technology, the best advice is usually to consider the functionality – you want it to do the job – so make sure that it can. Then buy the best that you can afford to avoid future obsolescence. So I asked him why he needed a mobile?: for communication – so that he could contact others and they could contact him whilst he was on the move, away from home and the office. “OK – so you don’t need the camera and the video – so why pay that much money just to give away to another mugger?, or to leave on the back seat of a taxi?” (which has happened to another friend of mine.)
I suggested that he buy a “bulk standard” phone. If he didn’t like the bulk – then go for a smaller, more compact model (at, maybe, USD100).
He didn’t like the advice – but oddly enough he took it.
Bishkek