Postcard from Bishkek

The unusual combination of letters in “Kyrgyzstan” often draws jokes and remarks featuring “Alphabet Soup” and a potential high score in Scrabble, (a basic 30 without any bonus for using a double or triple letter, or word, squares – needing a well placed opening, the only K, the Z and both the Y tiles – not to mention the additional bonus if you happen to be able to use all of your nine tiles in making the word … but then, you wouldn’t be allowed the score because the rules forbid the use of country names).

You wouldn’t be allowed the word ISIHAC either … because it’s not a proper word, it’s an abbreviation.  An aficionado, however, would recognize ISIHAC straight away as a shorthand form of “I’m sorry, I haven’t a clue”, a British radio comedy show that is subtitled: “the antidote to panel games”.  ISIHAC was first broadcast in 1972, and involves four comedians competing as two teams in a spoof or parody of the panel game genre which was then, and still is, a standard format for cheap and entertaining programmes.  The teams are “given silly things to do” by Humphrey Littleton, (Humph), who served, until his death in 2008, as “the chairman”.  These silly things included games like: “Singing one song to the tune of another”; “Complete the quotation”; “Historical answerphones”; “Just a Minim”; “Good News, Bad News” and, of course, the quintessential “Mornington Crescent.”

“Good News, Bad News” involved one contestant giving a piece of good news, and a second having to follow it with a piece of, related, bad news … and the cycle continuing until either the audience fell into hysterics or Humph fell asleep or onto his buzzer … or something similar.  For example:

Good news: I took a few days off to go to Issyk Kul last weekend
Bad news: I got a bad case of sunburn

OK, that’s not funny, but I hope you get the idea.

Well, this week has been full of conflicting signals like this … for example, in terms of the economy, (there’s been a lot of attention given to the question of the economy this week,):

Good news: it was announced that GDP has risen by about 5% so far this year, (or about 1.5% if you don’t count the results of Kumtor Gold Mine), but,
Bad news: tax revenues are down by 25% on last year, however,
Good news: this is only 0.4% down against the budget plan, but then again,
Bad news: inflation has reached 4.1% during the first six months of the year, but despite this
Good news: “No serious price hikes occurred during this period”, although
Bad news: the effect of the increased customs duties imposed by Russia, which have resulted in a 4.5% increase in fuel prices, still haven’t worked their way through the system into the figures and these will only be evident later.
Good news: Kyrgyzstan forms the second biggest exporter of women’s blouses and shirts to Russia, after China, but,
Bad news: transport of freight by rail is down by 7% on last year.
Good news: Kazakhstan has eased border restrictions, but
Bad news: there are still problems with the border – Kazakhstan has reduced the number of crossing point from twelve to five, (but only four are actually working properly at the moment),
Good news: Donor agencies and foreign governments continue to offer financial support, but
Bad news: this has led to an increase in public debt – by almost eighteen million US dollars, however,
Good news: it has also meant that important infrastructure improvement projects, (roads, construction …), are continuing and new ones being started, but
Bad news: that includes surveillance cameras on several busy crossroads in Bishkek …

… and so on.  To be honest, I am not sure if that last one is good news or bad news … but it’s a sign of the times … of the development that is going on … and of the amount of traffic we see on the streets of the capital.

One piece of news, (good or bad … I’m not sure), is that the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe, (OSCE), have decided that they want to deploy a number of police officers as a Police Advisory Group, to help the law enforcement agencies here, especially in the South.  Some people are for this … others less enthusiastic.  Apparently, the details still have to be settled, but it looks like a “done deal” already.  I’m not sure what they’ll be able to do, especially as their number will be very great, but I suppose they will offer a “thin red line”.

Ahmat Bakiev, the brother of former President Kurmanbek Bakiev, has been arrested in Djalal Abad.  Apparently, according to press reports, he has confessed to playing a part in the recent mass disorders, and he and his entourage were armed when they were detained.   Some other members of the Bakiev regime have also surrendered to the authorities.  There is still no news, however, about the whereabouts of the other members of the Bakiev family, especially Janysh, or the possible extradition of Kurmanbek from Byelorussia or Maxim from Britain.

There is still a lot of concern expressed about the situation, relationships between different ethnic groups and so on, down south.  The security services are still commenting on the risk of a rise in religious militancy and the aim of insurgents to broaden the scope of the conflict zone in a new version of “The Great Game”, (is it version 3 or version 4, already?) … to start a conflict in Kyrgyzstan which would lead to a war with Uzbekistan and later engulf the whole region.  The question is whether they have already “shot their bolt” … I am not sure that the general population is ready and willing to be used as pawns in this particular chess game.

One form of “corruption” seems to be under attack from the authorities arising out of one of the features of the recent events was the role played by the military and law enforcement agencies.  There have been many criticisms of the way that the security services handled the situation … their readiness, equipment … and their motivation.  The Police force and Traffic police are reporting a shortfall in applications … fewer people want to take on this “thankless role” – especially as it probably costs them money to “buy” their position.  The army is supposed to be a conscript army, and so it should reflect the whole of Kyrgyz society but, in fact, it is almost 100% Kyrgyz … and the conscripts are usually from the poorer sections of society.  It seems to be common practice for people to “buy their way out” of serving.  Indeed. the system has been formalized, authorized and legitimized.  The Ministry of Defence, however, have announced that they are going to end the practice.

One piece of good news, very good news for those of us in tourism, is related to the visa regime.  Although Kyrgyzstan has one of the most liberal visa regimes in Central Asia, if not in the former Soviet Union, there have been a number of anomalies in the system, and for years we in the industry have been trying to get improvements introduced.  For example, although citizens of most European countries could apply for and receive a visa without needing an official invitation, anyone from Andorra, San Marino or the Vatican City couldn’t … they had to get an letter of invitation in order to apply for a visa.  Ideally, we would like to have the “visa free” regime extended to cover such countries as Britain, France, Germany, Australia, New Zealand, the US and Canada.  If not a complete visa free regime, then at least for a stay of up to one month.  There is resistance to this from the authorities, however, and so we have been making little, or no, progress.  For the last year or so, however, we have been trying to point out that there are other countries where it is necessary not only to have a visa, but also to have an official invitation, which is scrutinized by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the security services.  This process not only costs money, it also takes time … a minimum of two weeks and often longer … the worst case I know of took some 72 days to get the invitation approved.  “Why is this necessary?,” I would ask in meeting after meeting, “what threat does does someone from Argentina, Brazil, Mexico or South Africa pose to the Kyrgyz Republic?”.    Well, this week another eleven countries were added to the existing list of forty eight countries that could apply for a visa, for a stay of up to one month, at a Kyrgyz Consulate without needing an invitation.  These eleven countries include Argentina, Brazil and Mexico … but not South Africa.  Even so … Progress!

The most interesting thing about this, however, is that the eleven countries also included Vietnam … BUT, according to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs website, Vietnam, (along with Cuba and North Korea), already enjoys visa free status as the result of an existing bilateral treaty with the Soviet Union that is still in force. I feel like Alice at the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party, and want to cry out: “Curiouser and curiouser!”

On a more personal note … my week has been like that as well.  The bit about my getting sunburned up in Issyk Kul  is true.  They’ll be more details on the website next week, but basically, although I had a hat on on my head and wore a shirt to keep the sun off my back, I forgot that I was wearing shorts.  Although I had cream with me, it lay in the room and I didn’t notice I was getting sunburned … it only became evident when sitting in the vehicle on the way home.  I started moisturizing my skin with cream as soon as I got home … but it was too late … by Monday morning my legs were a deep crimson red.  Fortunately, they didn’t hurt, so I didn’t worry … until Tuesday evening when I noticed that they had swollen so much that the ankles were not visible.  Tatiana, took one look at them on Wednesday morning and said “Doctor!”.

She took me to the same doctor who looked after me following the attempted robbery last year.  This time her chosen treatment didn’t consist of Green Tea poultices, but smearing the legs with smetana – Sour Cream.  Just like the green tea …  the good news is that it worked a treat.  The bad news is that she also put me on a drip feed system to boost my vitamins and glucose levels … and that meant I lost three to four hours a day for three days, lying on a hospital bed when I should have been working.  I didn’t waste the time, however, as I had my mp3 player to hand and listened to a number of podcasts.

I have been able to get some work done, although there have been a lot of other distractions.  For example, the computer has been playing up … I have been asked as a “native English speaker” to proof read some translations of articles by a bilingual magazine – I know, that may seem quite funny as, like Alice in Wonderland, I sometimes “forget how to speak good English”, but not as funny as some of the translations I have been asked to proof read over the years … I was asked to give an interview to Kyrgyz Television on the subject of the economy.  At least the interview was in English … they will dub it with a translation in Russian and Kyrgyz when it comes to transmission … I was also invited to take in a recording of a “Question Time” type discussion forum for another channel.  A panel of “experts” sit on the podium and answer question put to them by an announcer, and the audience are invited to contribute.  I was one of the “invited audience”.  All was going well, I thought, until the announcer turned and said, “Well, Ian, what do you think?  Can Government and Business work together?”.  I waited for the floor to open up and swallow me up.  I was tempted to say ISIHAC, but one of the experts had already used that tactic and it wasn’t really the sort of question where I could get away with that, so I had to answer, in Russian – and my Russian is not that good.  I’ll be interested to see what the actually transmit. …  I have also been asked to give another interview, this time in writing, also on the question of the economy and what needs to be done to kickstart it.  I’m not sure why they think I have something useful to say.

As I said, a week of Good news, Bad news … at least there hasn’t been any Terrible news this week … and that in itself is Good news.

Tags: Expat, Kyrgyzstan, Life_in_Kyrgyzstan, Reminiscences, Weekly_Postcards