Zakon podlosti
The other day we had to call in the computer engineer … we had a problem with one of the hard drives … and no sooner had he arrived than something else cropped up … then another problem … and another. What should have been a fairly straight forward visit lasting, say, half an hour ended up taking most of the day.
In English we would say that this is an example of “It never rains … it pours“. That’s a phrase I use quite a lot and most people are used to hearing me say it. I am not sure if or how translates into Russian - I usually explain it by saying “Ni bivayet protoi doshde – vsdegda budet silniy doshda” - “simple rain doesn’t happen – it’s always rains hard“, and most people seem to understand that … or, at least they say they do.
From time to time, I also use some other idiomatic phrases which mean something similar, such as: “it’s just thing after another” or “Bad things happen in threes“. That last one proved to be very amusing when I used it the other day and it led to an interesting conversation about superstition and waiting for the third misfortune to occur … and the possible reactions to a fourth, or fifth.
Anyway, as I was talking to the engineer … I made a comment about how it was interesting that everything seemed to go wrong almost as he walked in through the door – and he said: “Yes, we have a saying for that. It’s Zakon podlosti.”
In fact it’s not quite the same … Zakon podlosti translates as “the law of meanness“, or – more picturesquely - the law of the dirty trick“. It is probably closer in meaning to Murphy’s Law, or Sod’s Law: If something can go wrong – it will, (or, as Robert Burns put it: “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men Gang aft a-gley.”)
This is such a universally accepted adage that it crops up in different variations all over the world and in different walks of life. One commonly quoted example is: “The Toast always falls butter side down” – and, apparently, there has been some scientific research which shows that really is true.
As an aside: There is a website devoted to Murphy’s law in its many different guises, with its extensions and corollaries, and outlining a brief history: www.murphys-laws.com.
It turns out that Murphy was a real person … he was an engineer in the United States Air Force – a Captain Edward A. Murphy Jr. … yes, that’s right: Eddie Murphy!
Anyway, back in 1949 he was an engineer working on experiments to determine how much G-Force a person could withstand … and which would be used when designing aircraft. A Colonel Stapp volunteered to be the guinea pig for the experiments … and in the course of all the tests that took place over several months he suffered several broken bones, was concussed on numerous occasions, and the blood vessels in his eyes burst.
Personally, I am not sure what was more surprising … that a Captain could inflict such injuries on a Colonel with impunity … or the fact that the guy kept coming back for more.
It didn’t help that on one occasion, the Captain fixed 16 sensors to C0lonel Stapp who was strapped into a rocket which was brought to a sudden halt … the idea being to measure the forces that the Colonel would be subjected to. When they looked at the results … all the sensors recorded zero. Upon investigation they discovered that all 16 had been wired up wrongly … and yet, the Colonel came back for more.
Despite having suffered all that, the Colonel was upstaged by the Captain in the annals of history … although, to be fair, it was Stapp, himself, who made history … with a comment that made its way in the press … about how Murphy had “anticipated” that whatever can go wrong will do so … and had planned accordingly.
If we know the derivation of the phrase “Murphy’s Law”, there seems to be references to similar formulations down the centuries … I have even seen a reference to Aristotle … but I have no idea where the Russian version comes from and I can’t find a source that cites the first recorded use of the phrase.
It’s often used to refer to anything that upsets plans, or simply to something that is unexpected, (but it is an unpleasant , unwanted or unwelcome intervention rather than a “pleasant surprise” – if there is such a thing).
Now, regular readers of my postcards will know that (1) I have a strong cynical streak in me and (2) I am fond of clichés and am liberal in my use of them. Mr. Walker and Mrs. Jones, (my English teachers in the dim and distant past), would be mortified.
One cliché which I often use is that “nothing goes according to plan“, so we should always “expect the unexpected“. Benjamin Franlkin put it somewhat differently when he said: “There are only two things certain in life: Death and Taxes“, and one of our former employees put it this way: “America may be ‘the land of opportunity’, but in Kyrgyzstan ‘anything can happen’ … and usually does.”
Another person once told me, “Logic says x, but I wouldn’t guarantee it. Where do we live?”
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For the record: Apparently, there is no exact Kyrgyz equivalent but the closest is the: Kychap kalat, which seems to be used for both “it never rains …” and also for “if it can go wrong …”
Bishkek