There’s no easy way to tell you this
Shortly after we opened our hotel in Bishkek we held a “review meeting”, to see how things were going, what needed attention, and so on. One of the staff expressed the view that things were going well, that we had been through all of the situations we could expect to meet, had dealt with them successfully, and could be confident that we had systems in place to meet any eventuality.
I suppose that I must have been feeling a little mischievous, because I responded with a question: “Really, when did one of the guests die? I must have missed that.” The look on his face said it all. Of course, no one had died in the hotel, and he hadn’t even considered the possibility. (He must have missed that part of the briefing in the training that we had carried out before we opened.)
As I “twisted the knife”, (I said that I was being mischievous), I pointed out that in some parts of the world people even booked into hotels to commit suicide, because they knew that the hotel would want to avoid scandal and handle the whole affair with discretion. Of course, I conceded, that was unlikely to happen in our hotel – for all sorts of reasons, not least because we were so expensive compared to local salary levels … but I was certain that at one time in the future we might well have a guest who would pass away, and we needed to bear this possibility in mind.
It gave everyone food for thought.
Fortunately, I am pleased to report, it hasn’t actually happened … at least, not so far!
It doesn’t happen very often, but every now and again there are incidents when a tourist dies here in Kyrgyzstan. Despite our reputation for being a country in “perpetual revolution”, however, as far as I am aware no tourist has been a victim of civil unrest … at least, not so far. (The worst case I know about was a group of tourists who were caught up in a protest where locals had blocked the road, and so they were unable to continue their journey.)
Most incidents seem to involve mountaineers or other “adventure tourists” in the mountains. Often, they are “independent” tourists without the support of a tour company guide and support team of porters, etc.
I like to think, however, that the member of staff was correct in one respect: that we are prepared to meet with most eventualities, with appropriate systems in place so that we can react to emergencies in a responsive and sensitive manner.
We have had a fair number of difficult or unfortunate situations to deal with over the years. People who have been victims of theft, assault or road traffic accidents. Although we have not had a death on site, we have had guests who have received news from home that one of their loved ones had died.
This last situation is one of the hardest to deal with. In the other cases there is always something to be done … some arrangements to make … but although we may sometimes be asked to help make changes to travel arrangements but, generally, when bad news arrives there is little that we can actually do apart from express our condolences and to try to console them as best we can.
As a teacher, I once attended a training course with the euphemistic title, “Coping with Loss”. It was about working with children who had suffered a bereavement … and it was one of the courses that had a great effect on me, although, to be honest, over the years I have I forgotten many of the details of the topics that we covered.
I went to it because we had recently had a case in the school where I was teaching, of a child who had died suddenly. We all had difficulty coping with the situation, even the most hard-bitten teachers amongst us.
I often wonder how those involved in the various school massacres that seem to happen with growing regularity these days, from Columbine to Beslan, or the latest “shooting rampage” in West Cumbria, manage to cope … and I thank my lucky stars that I have never been in such a situation, myself.
This year, however, we have twice had the unenviable task of having to break the news to someone that one of their relatives has died. To make matters worse, because of the circumstances, it had to be done over the telephone or by email.
Both cases were particularly distressing. In the first, the deceased was a local person, a personal friend of mine, a relatively young man and I had to tell his father that his son had died suddenly. The second case involved was a tourist whose mother had died, back home. This seemed particularly distressing because it happened when she was in the middle of a holiday – when a traveler would normally be expecting to be relaxing and enjoying themselves.
There is no easy way to break news like this … but I hope that we were able to do it with sensitivity … and without being “mischievous”.
There is, after all, a time and place for everything.
Bishkek